97 Grey: The Big, Autistic Woman (97.20)

The Big Autistic Woman

[00:21:53] Incredible. She, she grew up she grew up on a farm. And she had her she had an aunt who was the one who really cared for her. She described it as a big, huge woman that terrified her because she was always afraid, she was going to hug her because she couldn’t stand the pressure of being hugged, couldn’t stand this emotional wave that would come through and her aunt would bring her into the fields to play with the cows. And of course, she, she fell in love with the animals. She was in peace with them. There was so much like her. She had to teach yourself everything. She had to teach herself literally how to be in the world with human beings, how to come to grips with their emotional nature. And she became a professor at the University of Colorado at Boulder, and her specialty was in animal husbandry and in dealing with animals. And she invented a slaughterhouse system. She invented a way that cows could go to their deaths and that they would not be afraid, and they would not be in pain. And she developed this ramping system so that the cattle would be brought into the ramp and then slowly at the top, they weren’t allowed to see what was coming. And so it always turning and then it would get narrower and narrower and narrower until the moment that they were captured in it. And they could be they could be, with electricity, with a bolt of electricity they would be gone. And she’d invented for herself a hugging machine, the same kind of device that she used with the cattle to bring them to this point. She invented a hugging machine that she had in her room so that she could get inside the machine and she could slowly crank it up so that it would give her exactly the right pressure so that she could be hugged, but at the same time not have to put up with the emotional field. This phenomena takes place here. You know, where the damage is done. This is where it’s going to be done. And one of the things that that we will find out is that eventually with enough research, we’re going to be able to see the, well when we know all the conception times, for example, of autistic children. If we have hundreds of those conception times, we’re going to be able to define that at the 32nd degree point they’re going to be in certain lines of certain hexagram that are always simply going to guarantee that. In other words, they going to say that’s the result of this, this is what’s going to happen, there’s going to be this kind of difficulty because the emotional connection is not set up properly in the body, within the vehicle. This is the danger that lies in this in this particular point. [00:24:30][156.1][00:24:34] Between thirty-two degrees and 64 degrees, this is the most dangerous time for the fetus in its development. This is a time for spontaneous abortion. This is a time for all kinds of problems to arise. This is a time for premature death, in that sense, this is a very, very risky time. The joke about this autistic woman is that of course the 49th gate revolution, the gate of the principals, the gate of rejection or not rejection, this is also the gate of the slaughterer. That is, if the 19 is the animal, that is the resource, the 49 is the butcher that caves up the animal. It’s interesting to see that in her karma, in this process, that the that in her, in her autistic courage to go through her process was really something incredible. And what she came up with was still the way to slaughter these animals. This is the classic 49 in all of that. This is a time where the mother will reject the fetus, or the fetus can reject the mother. This is a very unstable time. And what we call autism can be rooted in the fetus’s inability to accept the mother or the mother’s inability to truly accept the fetus at that point. And at that point, there could be a disturbance in the wiring, so that the finished emotional system, that the principles of the emotional system, have been changed in that, mutated in that, affected in that, whatever the case may be. But the reality is that from this 32nd degrees to the 64 degrees you’re really looking at, it’s a very big space compared to all the spaces that we’ve looked at, this is the biggest space, and this is a huge space of the 32-day, 31-day space here. And in this process, all of this is whether or not the mother, the host, is going to be able to provide the resources necessary for the fetus, or is it going to be rejected, or is the fetus going to have the power to demand the resources it needs to live, or is it simply going to reject that. The 49th gate is the gate of being sacrificed or not. Now, it can be the sacrificial, sacrifice of the life, or it could be the sacrifice of a normal life. But the reality is that this is a very, very, very important time. You know, when, when you’re dealing with people who just at this point, most people would discover they’re pregnancy, unless they really had a feeling that it was there and not everybody does. This is around the time that you recognize that you’re pregnant and it’s around that time that every single woman goes through the dilemma of whether or not she wants to carry that pregnancy to term or not. This is a classic dilemma, no matter what society you live in, this is a moment of deep, deep, deep confusion before order can come and it is often deeply emotional. The discovery of an unwanted pregnancy, for example, or the discovery that the pregnancy that one wants one’s partner does not, and all of these various combinations we have as human beings. So, the thing to recognize is that what’s going on underneath the surface is being mirrored in the life of the mother in that moment while she’s carrying the child. And one of the things that I do with my work, because I, I know great many people, and I have a very, very big tribal family, and whenever any of them discover that they’re pregnant, I’m the first person there telling them that it’s very important for them to be very clear about where they are, what they want at that moment, because it has a deep impact on the emotional development of the child that’s going to come out. It doesn’t have to do with whether that child is going to be born with a defined solar plex or undefined. This has to do with the underlying the underlying recognition of whether or not one can find support in the world. This is what this is about at its deepest level, the theme of is there going to be support? Yes, I have this car. But will I live in a world where there’s gas stations? Shit, oh. Otherwise, having a car, doesn’t do you any good. So, what lies here underneath is very, very deep and very, very important for women. Very important for them to recognize that the moment that they come into this state of pregnancy, the longer they debate whether that’s what they want or what they don’t want, the more destabilized this experience is for the fetus inside. It always opens up the opportunity that there is going to be difficulty in terms of how they are going to develop their emotional reaction to the world. Because please understand, there is no wave until you go through this bridge, the motor is not set in motion until you go through this bridging time. And this bridging time just isn’t a matter of the fetus. It’s a matter of the fetus and it’s a matter of the host of the fetus, because together they’re going through a time of challenge. Will they support each other?

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