Source of the Calling …

Since I was a child I’ve heard this voice whispering to me on various occasions – every time to my surprise. It says to give it away. Sometimes it says “give it ALL away, Mark.” And there’s a vibe to be of service to others, take some risks that may appear ridiculous, stupid or crazy in such service. Others come back and say things like “wow, that was gutsy” or you’re courageous. And in those early years, maybe I was only seven or eight, I formed an organic response. Actually it began with a chuckle, a smile, sometimes a deeper laugh depending on how much pain was involved and then the words “there’s a fine line between courage and stupidity.” Some got it and some just went on their way.

But having ended up much alone in my creative process, isolated, and with limited means – there’s no question in my mind of whether or not I continue to create or support the few with whom deeper relations have been established. There is a question of focus and best use of meager resources, looking for synergies with others, or even finding a way to ask for help around a means of expression, connection and value was evident to me.

Now I’m laughing at myself. I’m wondering if the voice I heard was coming from the curtain or the veil.

Or was, or is, it other side of the veil. Is it consistent? Is it really my higher self or some form of the divine, that spirit who I’ve been following through the peaks and valleys of an intensely dramatic and deeply felt life.

I’m quite sure it is what it was intended to be. For I’ve not sought a destination, but rather, a path.

And that, my friends, is indelibly etched into my minds eye and will not be forgotten.

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