Ahr Zhe Winnie: 97 Grey – Love & Awareness (97.9)

One with Love

[00:48:21] The teaching of my grandmother. The rave was never one, the knowing of Abraham, very simple, we are not alone. Understand the rave is always connected to love as the design is always connected to the monopole through the string. This is the knowing of John the Baptist. Think about the nature of what happens to you the moment that the magnetic monopole disengages from the design crystal and the design crystal rises up and goes into the ajna center. The design crystal has lost contact with love. There’s a space inside of the design crystal, where a magnetic monopole can always embed itself, at the very beginning when the very first illustrations I showed you was this illustration of the dancing dervish, the dervish that danced to celebrate love, to celebrate awareness because awareness can only be generated in the separation of love its source. We can never be one with love. This is not possible. Not until you’re dead. And that’s another movie when you’re dead. As long as the magnetic monopole is not connected to the design crystal, we are always separate in that way, but yet they are connected to each other in the Matrix. It’s always connected the matrix. So love is always there. Rave is always connected to love. Connected to love. As the design is always connected to the monopole. There’s always a place where they can fit together, but in fact they never do. That is as far as evolution is concerned, they never do. Not while we are conscious. Think about what that means. The moment that you were one with love, you lose your awareness. Think about that. Think about that very deep. The moment you won the love you lose your awareness. It is the separation from love that makes us aware. It’s something to understand. The separation from love is what makes us aware. And then you come the rave is never one with love, not as long as it’s in form. This is the knowing of …. There is no way that we can be won with love as long as we are in these bodies, because these bodies keep us separate from love, because they exist in the very separation of the design crystal from the magnetic monopole. But the rave is form. Out of form, it is not a rave. This was knowing of Buddha. He got the joke. He said, well, body’s not ours. And it’s not. This is what you can know, said the voice to me, not being one is the rave way. In our awareness, in being alive, but we are not one with love. This is one of the great myths. This concept that we can be one with love, to be one with love is not be aware. It’s not to be aware. And we always get to have the embrace with the oneness. We call it death. Death is a great moment of love, not one that we are cognitive of, because the moment that you’re one with love you stop being aware. [00:51:53][211.5]


97 Grey – Planetary Drivers (97.8)

Mercury Dogs and Camels

[00:58:15] A wonderful of writer in the 50s and 60s, who studied with Ouspensky, his name was Rodney Collin, very bright man, and he wrote wonderful book on the on the nature of perspective. And he talked about, for example, that based on the age of the earth, a half breadth of the earth is equal to one average human life. A half breath of the earth. This is a field of consciousness. He was brighter than Ouspensky. He had this wonderful comment on if it’s a sunny day and there’s a whole army of ants walking along the path and you’re coming for a walk through the park and you cross this pathway, step over the ants and you don’t stop. You just stepping over them on your way to keep on walking. And in that moment that you step over them, you cast a shadow because the sun blocked out. And the shadow that you cast over the ants, that you cast it over, it’s three months and their life. Just perspective. The beauty of perspective. We get so locked into our little vain perspective about what it is to be human. Must be cold for them for three months. You have to understand how bizarre a situation that was for me. Because, of course, none of these things where it was terminology or stories that were at all familiar to me. And then I was given all of this stuff, but, uh, yeah, that was very strange experience. The dog and the camel for me are the most fascinating. The terms, by the way, these were spoken to me, these names. So, there is something to them. But then again, one doesn’t know. They’re just simply what was given to me as part of the, the mythology. The center, the center sits at the heart of the sun, so our sun, our sun is a neutrino instrument. Our sun produces 70 percent of the neutrino’s we receive. So, at the core of the sun, at the heart of the sun, this is where the center sits. Other than when it incarnates. Its incarnated eight times in this round of civilization. It is presently not there. The center sits in the heart of the Sun and filters the stream, the neutrino stream, absorbs, building, maintaining and reforming the sun solar body to the solar system. [01:02:04][228.5]

[01:02:05] So this is how we feel. This whole retreat of information is coming out of the sun and it’s coming out of the core. Out in the center’s center is filtering in. So, you can imagine the neutrinos, the stream having to go through this filter as has go through this filter and the filter of the center just spreads it out fractally and goes out informs the cell body. The camel and the dog also dwell within the rave sun. They each incarnate once around. Around being over 19,000 years. Never in the form of raves, never. So, they’ve never come into human form, they’ve never reincarnated as human beings. The dog manifests and maintains the body and life of the sun itself. It is that generates the string. Neutrino dog’s breath, which I like very much. Perverse touch to it. The dog, the dog generates what we call the neutrino stream. Now, how does that. I have no idea. Nonetheless, that’s its function. And one of the extraordinary things about it is that the dog incarnates, now it incarnates and very low lifeforms. Sometimes it can be anything from a virus to a, well, to a dog or a cat, for example. But it normally incarnates in lifeforms that don’t live very long. Because the moment that it goes away from the sun, you have a destabilizing period in the neutrino level of the sun. And this is something that is something that we will have experience with. So, the dog has a very special job. In English, of course, dog is a lovely word because if you spell it backwards, it says God, which is fundamental, the nature of the dog is that it is the dog that generates the string. So, the dog is really the core of the sun and it is the center, it is the center that takes this neutrino information that’s been generated by dog, and it takes this information, and it reflects its information, about when, when I say dog, just another aspect of crystal. After all, this is one of the shrouding crystals around the center. The camel also filters the string, and the camel is very unusual and after our break we will see because we’ve had a lot of people who are alive today who have had very unusual processing in their life. The center and the dog can be stationary, and they usually are, but the camel never stops moving, never. It’s rotation within the sun is exactly synchronized to the motion of the Red Planet that’s called Mercury. And today we’re going to talk about something very mysterious, which is called Mercury sequencing. Every 88 days, the camel and Mercury complete the cycle together, this is an evolutionary sequence. The center can never directly inform Mercury. The center can never directly inform Mercury. Only the camel can do that. The stream filtered by the center is then filtered by the camel before it can inform Mercury. So think about it this way. If you have at the very center, at the core, if you have the dog and then you have the center filtering what the dog has, everything can go out except for one thing, because no matter where mercury is, the camel is always between mercury and the center. The camel is always between mercury and the dog, always, because it’s moving exactly with mercury in its movement. So what that means is that the center itself never gets to program mercury except when the camel incarnates. And we will see that this has happened and then we have many, many people on this planet who have been deeply impacted by having the direct informing from the center rather than it being conditioned by by the camel. The string filtered by the centers and filtered by the camel before it can form mercury. When we come back, we will spend our afternoon looking at the impact of mercury sequences and what it really means in our process. [01:06:35][269.3]

[01:06:43] Yeah, the, this material that’s been collected from this course will eventually be incorporated into a, one of the grey books that I’m writing with is about the. [01:06:57][14.0]

[01:07:13] Ready for dogs and camels? Yep. The illustration for the dog and the camel was given to me by the voice, so I assume that the symbols have some kind of meaning. I’ve had a couple of mild meditations on them myself. Generally, I don’t pay much attention to all that stuff. It’s just interesting that it’s there. But nonetheless, there are people that are enamored by symbols and their meanings, those two to me, carry with them a great deal. Nonetheless, the symbols here of the camel and the dog, it says where the function of the dog is general the function of the camel is specific. By that it means that the function of the dog is to generate neutrino information, by the way, it’s not actually generating the neutrino stream as much as it’s taking the natural process of the sun and out of that constant stream, that’s a much more complex thing. It operates in general filtering the stream, as information and the function of the camel is specific because it has a certain job that it does. It’s not general what it does. Remember that it’s moving in exactly the same positioning process as mercury. So it’s always keeping its relationship directly with Mercury. It says the filtration of the stream by the camel is experienced by raves as their personality consciousness. Runs in around the camel incarnates, this is a very important event, the camel incarnated in 1936 and returned to the sun in 1941. It was the only opportunity for the center to directly inform Mercury since before 16,101 B.C. So one of the things that’s very interesting and you’ll see, because we’re going to talk quite a bit about mercury sequencing, this is a this is a whole generation of human beings that has no secrets. They are somehow very different, and it’s one of the things that I always pay attention to is anyone who is born in that era because I’m always looking for what, what the possible anomalies are. The reality is that the camel represents the direct, the direct information that goes to Mercury and it goes to Mercury and it’s going to affect us in those 88 degrees in the Sun where the personality crystal is inside of the fetus. In other words, the way in which our personality is programed is directly related to mercury. And it’s directly related to the camel. The reality is that the moment that camel is not there, that it incarnated on this planet. This was the moment that instead of Mercury being the sole processor of this, all of those children that were people at that point, at that stage were all being programed directly by the center, not something that happens, obviously, very often. Mercury, the planet has a special function from the moment that the personality crystal entered into the body of a fetus for 88 days, not 88 degrees. Don’t confuse the two. For 88 days it will only respond to the programing of this planet. You know, in our European Mediterranean tradition, Mercury is the is the messenger of the gods. It is the great communicator of the godhead. And of course, mercury is the brightest of all the planets and it’s closest to the sun. And in this sense, within the nature of this mythology, Mercury has a disproportionate importance upon us. Over the next several years in the time slots that I give to what I’ve called rave courses, I’m going to be teaching about the sequences within the body from the point of conception to the point of birth, because it’s very important to understand the nature of what is going on in these processes. Here what we’re looking at is that we have a special programing that takes place in us for the first 88 days that the personality is in the body. Now what that means, of course, is that there can be, it can be exact, and that sequence can end with birth or a new sequence can begin just before the birth. As an example, it’s either eighty-eight or eighty-nine days, the 88 degrees in the sun. Nonetheless, what it means is while our personality is inside of us from the moment our soul enters our body, it is mercury that is directly conditioning us. And it’s directly conditioning us based not on what the center projects, but I want the camel projects, that is the camel is the filter that directly connects to mercury. So in a sense, the nature of the camel is that it is the, how can I, what can I describe that as, the, the hard disk of human consciousness? Something like that. Out of out of the camel comes the human personality consciousness program. We are all programed by this, by this entity. You know, inside the sun, you have a, as you can see, a Trinity, we have a classic Godhead that’s sitting here within the sun, that is relevant to just about every culture on Earth. This combination of the center and the dog and the camel there, that many, many names, ey? [01:07:13][0.0]



97 Grey – Centers & Fractals (97.7)

[00:43:45] There are, in the beginning, there was tug, there was these tug forces. There’s the bhan and the tug. And at the core of them, at the core of each of them are what’s called Centers. There are two centers. They’re both now on Earth, the tug center of manifesting the body of the universe. They usually refer to that as the Antichrist and the bhan center manifesting the universal mind. You could refer to that as the Christ, if you like if you like those kinds of cliches. But nonetheless, these are the two centers and the centers literally exist and they incarnate. the tug center dwells near the core of the earth and has been there for 2.4 billion years. During the present global round, which began in 16,101 B.C., the tug center has be reborn 62 times. The bhan center dwells in the heart of stars at the source of string. In this round would not in its place at the heart of the sun, it is incarnated eight times. The business of centers, a center is not the middle. Think about it this way. Let’s say that I have in my hand the bhan cyrstal and I shattered it, you know I drop it and I shatter it. That that bhan crystal, if I put a beam of light through it, it would have projected a pattern on the wall. And that pattern would have given me that impression of that crystal. So I shattered this crystal and I shattered into trillions and endless infinite number of aspects. If I go through the process of taking every single one of those aspects, every one of them and I take the same beam of light and I throw it through those aspects, I’m going to find one aspect that’s going to manifest in microcosm, exactly the same pattern as the totality did. This is called the center. In other words, it doesn’t have to be in the middle, doesn’t have to be at the core. It is simply the one aspect that will manifest in microcosm, exactly the same thing as the totality. These are the nature of the centers, the bhan center and the tug center. Our whole evolutionary process is rooted to the center. [00:46:12][146.7]

[00:46:19] The setting says the center and the 88 Alphas. The center, the camel, the dog, the Four Corners, the 16 faces, the 66 signs. If you want to know all the names of the gods, here they are, they all represent just about every deity that humanity has ever worshiped in any given form. And I assume there’ll be a time when there will be people who will be able to simply coordinate that and be able to reference each of these points. But this is the mechanism that lies underneath the center of the 88 alphas. By the way, there are no longer 88 alphas, there only 64. we live in a 64 matrix and 24 of them disappeared a long time ago, um, before life actually emerged on this planet, but this was the original configuration. The original configuration was 88 of them. [00:47:21][62.0]

[00:47:29] Everything’s about hierarchy’s, everything. There’s always been a heirachy. It’s existed from the beginning. Try to imagine what Crystal Hierarchy is all about because Crystal hierarchy is simply about position. Imagine what that’s like. If you take a look at this, this is a two-dimensional drawing, so it’s very hard to see it as a two-dimensional drawing. Imagine that you have the center. And imagine you can, if you’re looking at the center when it, when the crystal itself shatters, whole crystal shatters, imagine you could take a slow motion movie and put it back together again. OK, so you could see the actual shattering process. And if you could see the actual shattering process, what you would have is that you would have the center crystal and you would see that around that center crystal, there are crystals that are breaking off from it, that are closest to the center. And then there’ll be another crystal aspect that’s breaking up when the next one next and the next one, next one it’s what we call fractal lines. You have fractal lines coming out of the center. So think about what that’s like. If you have a fractal line going out of the center, for example, you can have any one of these aspects, the aspects, for example, that are called signs, means they are familiar. We would call them archetypes. For every one of those you go down that crystal line and you’re going to meet people who have always been in line with each other, forever. Forever. Anybody that’s close to me in my life, anybody that have contact with me and my life is either in the fractal line of one of my crystals or was actually against it, in that sense. We’re all like that. This is the deepest hierarchy that we have. This is where our whole confusion about how karma works comes from. We are all in fractal positions. We’re all in relative fractal positions, and that we have a chain that goes the chain can go in any number of ways in which we relate to others. So here what you have is that, here’s the, here’s the whole crystal inself, you come down to the the center of the center. And what was shrouding the center, shrouding it like like a walnut, the nut inside is is the center, and then you have the two aspects of the shell. OK, those two aspects of the shell. This is the dog and this is the camel. And then you have the four that comes. The four corners. And the Four Corners shroud that. OK, so it’s like one of these Russian dolls, you know, you keep on taking off the head and you keep out of the head and keep on taking it off. And this is our deepest relationship to each other. Our crystals have a relationship to each other. This is the nature of. They were close to each other. They were near each other in the shattering. And they will always move relative to each other in the same places in space. And the work that I do, and the mythology that I live, it is clear to me that everyone I meet, I have met before, not simply as a cliche, but simply as a reality. This is the nature of this crystal movement and position. Place and position mean everything in life. Everything. It’s all about the original positioning and the ones that were closest. These were the ones that manifested that of the core, the variations, the themes of the Godhead. It was the nature if it. so that out of that single aspect, which could refract the true nature of the original totality, out of that each aspect kept on dividing it up into further and further and further variations. In the beginning, we started with this matrix of eighty eight. We’re in a matrix now of sixty four. As you will see by the time we get to Monday, that will change again and a matrix will change again. [00:51:31][242.6]

[00:51:49] The center sits in, in the heart of the sun and filters the stream and source, the neutrinos stream, every star in the universe produces neutrinos. the Thing to understand about the nature of the crystals is that in the beginning, the crystals were all together, they were all together and everything had its perfect place. And then the shattering took plance and the moment of the shattering took place the release of the monopoles their whole process was at some point was to try to bring all those pieces back together again, like Humpty Dumpty who fell off the wall. the thing is that it doesn’t quite work that way because you can’t put the pieces back together again the way that we’re beginning. The first thing to recognize about that is that crystals get annihilated. That is the deepest fears are spirituality about damnation, hell, punishment, these kinds of things. The reality is that according to what I was told by the voice, there are crystals that get annihilated. There were crystals. That’s part of these core crystals that were part of these archetypes, six sides in which is there’s only 42 of them now. These were annihilated at various points in what are called changes. We have already gone through three major changes in our development since the initiation of this process. The reality is that at some point to talk about this, it will be our process to try to fit all these pieces back together again, because that’s the nature of it. This is the prana. The prana is that as you move outwards from the shattering, you go through deep maturing process, the cosmic learning process of emerging as a true form, and that you get to some point in which all of that can be organized properly and brought back into its places. In that sense, our crystals fit with each other. You know, it’s one of those things about human beings that they never quite grasp because they have a great deal of difficulty in letting go of their maia related vision. I mean imagine, if you will, that I suspend the camera where that light is, and I take away the ceiling and I just allow that camera to keep on rising up and keep on taking pictures. At some point, all of us stop being separate, we become one. I mean we become one. That is not a trick. That’s a matter of perspective. In reality, we are one. We just have our funny illusion about all this. But the fact is we keep on going up with that. Not only are we no longer separate, but everything on this planet gets merged into this beautiful photograph in 1969, the earth from space this incredible. There was no, there was nothing. There was just this marble, this lovely blue and white greenish marble. And there were no people, buildings, or animals. None of those things existed. We will come to the point where we will recognize our intrinsic connectedness to each other. human design is a very, very primitive way, beginning this process. That is it’s primitive in terms of what we are actually capable of. But the nature of understanding the mechanic has to come first to see clearly that truly interconnected but underneath the graphic that is our crystals and their relationship and of course, our crystals change in time, they change in time. They are being constantly penetrated by the neutrino change stream and they are changed by that. There is a process that they go through. Who I once could fit against I can no longer fit against. There are many things that have changed over the billions of years of these crystals moving in space. There’s something very important in all of that. It has to do with what I call individual emancipation, or personal integrity. One of the most insulting things that has been said to me, spiritual service work, and somebody coming up to me saying, oh, you’re an old soul. They usually say that the kind of old soul and I always remind them so is the plant, we all started together, nobody started later. We all started together, consciousness started together. And something so important to understand, the crystals that are endowed with you that that manifestor consciousness, these crystals have been in the universe for billions and billions, billions and billions of years. You know, we are a consciousness field. This is just what we’re here to play with, these are our cosmic toys for our consciousness. We are part of the cosmic field. It’s not to be forgotten. And it is the crystals that operate the consciousness. You know, we are vehicles, crystals. And the vehicles always change. They change from one life to the next, and they will change when the real change comes. They have to change form up to the next. We have lived in many forms. We’ve gone through many forms. We’ve gone through many, many processes. We’ve gone through billions of years of silence and movement. We’re ancient things, ancient, ancient, ancient things. What’s important for us to recognize is to let go of the vanity of the importance of a lifetime. Doesn’t mean anything, to the totality. It’s not important, what is important is that we come as close as we can to the acceptance of our nature. This is of value to the totality. [00:58:15][386.6]


97 Grey – Belief Un-Necessary. Neutrino Mass. Bhan. Tug (97.6)

[00:28:57] All the material of the universe was compressed into the tug. Everything that would expand outwards and create the physical body of it and within it is the whole nutrino matrix. We have a polarity here between the two of the bhan. Within the tug is the fundamental form principle that is the principle of matter and the principle that will connect the matter together. The communication between matter, the neutrino, both the hardware and software of our universe. And when you come to the other side, to bhan, the bhan and the prime magnetic monopole embedded in the prime design crystal, the bhan carried the other side of that. It carried the magnetic monopole to be able to ride the neutrino stream. You know, I describe in my public lectures as the arm of a streetcar, your magnetic monopole hooking up to the wire, you know, so that you can ride along your line. That’s what your monopole does, you know like those close lines where just hook in and you go flying along. That’s what your monopole does. It hooks into its line of geometry, that string and rides that string through your process. So when we come to the bhan, we come to the other side and come to the prime magnetic monopole. This is a great quote. This is Robert Browning, an English poet in the last century, and he had a dream one night, Madame Blavatsky and all of that crew, they labeled this the most mystical statement ever. I like it because of the way it sings. How A got the binocs to be. No. camel quote. Jews like G. Well anyway, the bhan, it’s a nice mystery I’m not going to explain it to you it’s better that way. [00:30:45][107.3]

[00:30:46] It is the bhan that brings the rave to their knees. It is the ignorant rave’s God. Consciousness, awareness, love, direction, the forms out of which it can all be experienced this is out of the bhan and the bhan is not yáng it is yin. Everything is, yin, except the light and the light’s an illusion, the tug builds the body, the bhan builds the brain, the rave builds the temple, the ark is empty. We have not reached the place yet. This. The tug represents the material principle and the bhan represents the consciousness to imbue that, that is to directed it, to give it its consciousness form. When the two of them come together, that is life itself coming together, the material principle and the capacity to imbue that principle, endow that principle with consciousness. But this is not yang. This is the essence of what it is to be yin. So, that the tug builds the body in the sense that it provides a material for the body, and the bhan builds the brain in the sense that it designs the nature of how our awareness is going to work. Our consciousness is going to work. But it is the rave, it is humans that build the temple. They build a temple in wonder. I’m against temples. Each of us has a temple. The rave builds the temple and the ark is empty. The ark will always be empty as long as we are human. This is one of the great jokes. It is the way it’s meant to be. And by the way, everybody says there’s a time for things. It’s not true, there’s a place, there’s not a time that you die, there’s a place where you die, if you happened in your lifetime to step on that place before you die, you’ll get the feeling, there’s a place for everything, we are moving in space. Everything has always been since the very beginning. Is not about time. It’s about place. We have a door that can come in and go out everybody has a place that they reach. This is the nature of our, of our existence. This is the essence of evolution, it’s simply a movement. So, place is everything. We are going towards a place, we are moving towards it, not towards a time. Towards a place. Towards vacant, actually. [00:33:31][164.5]

[00:34:02] I’ve had some very funny experiences associated with the mystical knowledge that I was given by the voice and my training as a scientist. Neutrinos really are the most obvious and the most extraordinary, of course, neutrinos did not have the mass when the voice told me that Neutrino’s had mass. At least theoretically they did not have mass and nobody had proved had mass. And it seemed like an obvious funny thing for the voice to tell me that neutrinos have mass. And that everything about Human Design was based on neutrinos having mass. It took eight years for the scientific community to catch up to the voice. What was interesting was that within a week of my experience with the voice, they started experiments in Los Alamos to determine whether the neutrinos and mass, and it took them eight years until they finally figured it out. One of the more extraordinary things the voice told me was about stars and it told me about stars that are older in than the universe. And this past year, using the Hubble orbiting photography astronomical satellite, that they have up there in space, they have discovered stars now that are older than any reliable parameter for the nature of the universe and it is disturbing cosmologists who make you look very nervous. According to the voice, let me tell you about the stars. Some are older than the beginning. Think about that. Where did the bhan go? I mean, the tug was always inside. So you know, if you’ve got it inside, there’s something inside. And there was someplace to go. All those things are relative by the way. After all I, the design crystal that rides in my solar system that led to the fertilization that produced my children. I don’t imagine that it knew it was in my solar plexus system. Nonetheless my solar plex was there. Let me tell you about the stars. The tug of the bhan did not meet in a vacuum. They met on the inside and the inside was already there. These are the stars of the wall. One day far away when they begin to die. They will be the enemy. Until then, they are the child’s greatest allies. There is a star in the rave sky wroth honoring it’s name is Archturis. These stars of Wall, they will be part of a triggering mechanism that will lead to birth. Until that point, they protect the flow of whatever essential energy is operating between the fetus and whatever it belongs to. So they are fundamental agents that exist within us. And one day they will begin to die and then they begin to die it will be time for what in our language we could call birth, not that we have any idea whtat that could possibly be. Mentioning the people of the penalties for. [00:37:45][222.8]

[00:37:46] The crystals of consciousness moved from the beginning. One of the more interesting stories that I was told was this whole process of the movement of the crystals of consciousness as they move through the universe and where they were at different stages, beginning with what will eventually become known within our consciousness as Arcturus. At the moment of the shattering in the beginning, that shattering, in that shattering, all the material is moving, all the material that’s moving, the bundle, this is the bundle, all the shattered material penetrated to the core of the star of the wall and the cracking ripped apart star. The prime magnetic monopole was this dis-embedded from the prime design crystal and the crystal itself shattered. Now we’re talking about the bhan crystal. This is the birth of rave personality crystals. Imagine this is the bhan within the bhan you have this prime magnetic monopole. It is dis-embeds in this contact with the star and all of the energy involved in all of that. At the same time, the bhan itself breaks up. The bhan breaks up into tug things. The core of the bhan. Everything around the center cystal of the bhan. This core of the bhan is going to become what we call personality crystals. What we call personality crystals. The rest of it, the crystal body, these will be what we call our design crystals, so our personality crystals and our design crystals they come out of the bhan. This is the great yin, this is the great yin manifested as a binary in our process. The, this is the birth of the rave personality crystals, the monopole was hurdled away from the mass caught in its cosmic spin. When the dervish dances is this is a celebration of love which initiated consciousness. We will talk about that. We will talk about the nature of love, because, of course, this is where the monopoles sits. This is how the monopole connects us to the totality, of connects us to totality through love. [00:39:56][130.3]

[00:40:05] It says, the fragments of the core all began to manifest their individual aspects within Arcturis. At impact with the star of the wall the prime design crystal was shattered and the prime magnetic monopole was dis-embeded and sent by incredible energy release into a spin. The prime magnetic monopole before this event could best be described as a cluster. It was a cluster and the power of the monopole is to attract. At this stage all of its aspects monopoles in harmony with the single prime design crystal were as one, but when the design crystal shattered and the harmony is broken the law of the monopole is to hold onto everything. The shattering destabilized the monopole cluster. The spin was more powerful than the prime magnetic monopole’s capacity to keep the cluster together and every fragment of the shattered design crystal was seeded with a monopole aspect from the cluster. [00:41:02][57.2]

[00:41:04] So basically what you have is that in the beginning you have prime forces, eh? You have a prime crystal, you have a prime monopole, prime monopole is made up of a cluster of infinite number of monopoles, infinite number of them. And in the moment of all this shattering, this monopole in its spin started to throw off these monopoles and every single one of these monopoles would find a design crystal to embedded. In other words, for every shattered aspect, there was a monopole to touch it. Now understand how important that is, because the the monopole is what holds everything together in its illusion of its separateness. It’s holding the universe together. And every aspect of everything, every crystal that exists in the universe, every crystal of consciousness, every design crystal has this magnetic monopole within it, not only to keep it in its specific geometry, but to interconnected it with everything else. That monopole that holds us together is also pulling everything, everything, everything towards us. Everything. Every cell in our body has a monopole that holds in its place. These, this is what it’s all about, how to keep everything in its cosmic order together. So in this shattering, what literally happened is that the primary simply broke up into incredible aspects, okay, trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and endless numbers of aspects. Each of them, in a sense, a mirror of the original, each of them seeded with their magnetic monopole. [00:42:44][100.1]

[00:42:49] By the way, if you don’t believe any of this, it doesn’t matter, eh? It’s very important to understand that, ey? It does not matter. There was a little boy who was listening to his father tell the story, and at some point he stopped his father and he said, this is this true? And his mother leaned over and smacked him, said don’t interupt your father when he’s telling a story. One doesn’t have to believe the father when he’s telling a story. One doesn’t have to believe in things eh? Just enjoy the faity tale. [00:43:17][27.9]

[00:43:43] You know, I know where to put it sweetie. [00:43:45][2.5] [540.7]


97 Grey Course – Sesion 5 – Grandma, Barley & the Cosmos

[00:00:02] Speaker 1: Well. Yeah, this whole about half a year later, Bahle go wild, he was wild anyway, someplace where it’s pretty safe for him. He found a female and they had pups and he hunted. I went to see him about a year later. I went up to the hills where I let them go and I called him. About a half hour later, he showed up. He looked at me and he said I went away as last time I ever saw him. He was quite a creature. I tell you stories about mythology now. Nice picture. When I’m on the first night, the story I will share with you, the mythology that I will share with you is an edited version of the story that I just told for the very first night. I suppose it was something this saved me from the shock that I was in, in that moment of standing in the doorway and having contact with the voice and going through the whole physical process you come out of. That is the moment that this this energy field was around me and something strange happened, because in that moment, the voice was gone. That is the energy field that I was associated with. The phenomenon was suddenly gone. And I did what appeared to be a very strange things I can remember leaning, bending over and pulling my dog barley through all my water. And it was really quite amazing how much water was on the ground and how much water we have in our bodies. And I drank barley through the water and I pushed him underneath my desk and I put up put a pot on the stove and heated up some water. Why? I don’t know, because I never had anything to do with it. Nonetheless, I did that. I remember being very uncomfortable getting on my platform because this kerosene lantern above my head was still turning. And I didn’t want to touch at it, obviously, because I wasn’t going to touch it anyway. But nonetheless, there was all these things that was going on inside of me. I got on the platform because I was in a great deal of pain and I was very uncomfortable. And, you know, in that moment when the energy was gone, no matter how bizarre the situation was, my dog and all the stuff in the water there is this part of me that said go to sleep, you know, maybe just a bad dream. And I lay down on the platform. And when I lay down on the platform, the first thing that happened when I got there was this terrible fright. And one of these things there was a spinal shock waves, people call it actually the hairs standing up on end because I wasn’t touching them. I couldn’t feel the bed, the platform. I had all these this numbness in my body. So though I was laying down there, it didn’t seem to be anything underneath me, which was a very bizarre feeling and very frightening because I thought I was becoming paralyzed. And something, you know, my first thought was that I was having a brain aneurysm. I mean, you know, one of the remarkable things about my own process is that no matter what’s going on in the bazaar around me, I learn this from drugs. You know, there’s always this very rational being inside saying, well, this is interesting. You know, your body’s like maybe this is a brain aneurysm, maybe it won’t be cut off. But all these things and it’s probably why you heard this weird voice and all of these things that were there. So they weren’t being articulated. They were there inside of me. At the moment that I had this frid on the platform, the voice came back and it said to me, I’m going to tell you this story. Everything that came out of this vibration was frightening to me. So if you like the statement, are you ready to work? Which is not a question. It was really a threat. You know, it felt like a threat. It was like, can you actually do this and will you do this? Because you’re going to you know, it was really in my own writings about my experience because I documented all these things. I described it as a grandma trying to soothe her baby because it’s very much what I was like. And in that moment of recontact, everything that I had ever understood no longer meant anything to me. All of that had been shattered. I was. Couldn’t experience I didn’t experience my humiliation until it was all over, the most difficult thing for me was to have survived because I had to deal with myself the next day and it was all done. And that’s the deepest, darkest hole I’ve ever been in. But in that moment when the voice started to talk, the pain went away. It was this incredible thing, what terrified me was that there because it was real, I mean, it was real in the sense that it was I was so far beyond anything that I could imagine. And it started to tell me stories. What fascinates me the most about the voice was that I could I could find a place inside of me that could possibly be a source for all that stuff, like being told how to construct this body graph and the wheel and all these things. None of that was part of my my knowledge. So what I showed you today is the story of the voice that he told me. And it’s a story of the bond and two. Human design is not dogma. There’s nothing about human design that is the nature of the knowledge that was given to me is not dogmatic. That is like everything associated with this knowledge. It’s about the structure of things. It’s about the mechanics of what I call cosmic mechanics. It’s just the mechanics of it. It doesn’t replace anybody’s God or gods. It doesn’t replace anybody’s faith or ideology. It isn’t intended to do so. What it does, though, is that it gives an underlying mechanic for how all these things have been interpreted, like my experience with interpreting the design bundle that could have been interpreted in many different ways, depending on the consciousness that received the energy. You know, if the forces touched a little girl and self-esteem, she normally sees the Virgin Mary, the same force that touches the young man in California. He usually has contact with some space. Yet it all is a matter of how we within our own capacity can translate frequency. The names I will give you, the descriptions that I will give you have carried many, many, many different kinds of clothing. Please understand that in the clothing lines, the dog, because it’s in the clothing that establishes what that’s supposed to be, the moralities of this. And this is the mechanics. This is an amoral, if you will, a mythology. I went from being a well, I couldn’t have even said that I was either an atheist or an agnostic because they both suggest that there is some kind of tension between this and that. I certainly didn’t have any connection to any of that in the nature of design. And because of my experience and through the knowledge that’s come for me, I recognize that we live in the creationist universe. That is, the universe was created. This begins with the beginning. Before the start. There was two. As a physicist, I was conditioned by Einstein’s theory, we sense that the universe began at the point of singularity, and before that point there could be nothing. Even Einstein had trouble with that. His famous comment about God doesn’t throw dice because he couldn’t go back any further. But that’s one of the beautiful things about the mystical way, is that there are no such barriers. So in the beginning, before the start, there was told they have names, everything is a name, everything as a name. And I have a picture here. It’s one of my favorite pictures I found in the back of a magazine in Madrid. And it’s a picture of all the letters of the alphabet and all these numbers. The only thing is that these things are on the wings of butterflies. And a Norwegian photographer took them 30 years. The Book of Letters A, you know, the letters were there before us. You know, all the words were there before us, all the names were there before us, because we’re only speaking in terms of a formula and frequencies, they’ve all been there, human vanity to assume that they’re our words, they’re not our words. They have always been there. These things have always been there. So everything has a name. One is called born. One is called the tug. By the way, my experience with the voice when it comes to the names is still something that’s very difficult for me to explain, because something I saw them and sometimes I heard them. The word rape, for example, is a word that I did not hear. It’s a word I saw. So I have no idea actually how it would have this would be pronounced. I don’t even know what that would possibly be, quite frankly, other than what I do with it, which is just the natural way I speak it. Born and Hoog are things I saw. Again, I don’t know whether or not my pronunciation is correct, but the actual physical shape, the way the formula for the writing is what I mean. So one is called the bond and one is called the two. There are only the only link to what I cannot cannot be known. They are unknowable. The rest, everything, the rest is the rest is out of them in the beginning, according to the Voice, there was a fertilization. We look at all this and that fertilization generator, what the voice called the child and the child is the universe. That is what we call absolutely everything that has to do with this totality. All of it is part of one living entity and one living. It is not born yet. That is the universe in our language is something that we could refer to as a fetus. And it is a fetus in the language of human design that has not received its personality. When the personality comes, the change will come. When the change comes, we will no longer have these forms. We will go into another process. So we are in the stages within the fetal development in which we are very close to the point at which the personality will come from the outside of the universe and will come in. This is about the beginning and how beginning goes and then beginning. There are only two things, only these two things. That is the beginning of what we call beings. And out of them, out of these two come everything else, all of the crystals of our consciousness that are part of our solar system, most of which are associated with this planet. If you collected all the crystals of consciousness, please understand, there’s a lot of them. You have one in every cell of your body, everything every plant, every insect, every flower, everything. If you take all these crystals of consciousness, if you add them all up, this is the design crystal and the totality. This is the design crystal of the totality. According to the voice, we are all the ajna the center of the developing fetus. This is the nature of what we’re here for it to discover the nature of the mechanics of the form human beings, each other on the evolutionary scale of the most extraordinary thing that is. That we compare. This is the nature of our consciousness, everything is about comparison. We measure this and that. How big is the universe? How heavy is a planet? How far away is a star? How how complicated is our genetic code going in directions to measure and discover the nature of our body? Because the universe is our body. It is our whole body, and we are the consciousness of that body, if you will. We are the unconscious of the totality, the Navajo Indians in America, they have a place in the sky that they say is the umbilical cord to the mother. This is something this official people claim to know where the cosmic head center is. That would be interesting because that is a place that’s going to have a lot of action. Which would center head center where the personality crystal will come. These two illustrations, you know, these are my graphic illustrations. Nothing more, nothing less, simply in the images that some feel for them. And everything that I talk about in relationship to crystals. Please understand the voice that told me they’re not crystals, so not of crystals in the sense that we understand the nature of crystal like this thing outside your name, Crystal, in the way they refract more than anything else, because that helps us to understand their nature. It says the bond came from the outside and the two guys always been inside. Think about how that works. When we have a human conception that’s going to take place, you have a design crystal and it’s magnetic monopole that’s going to come from the outside, it’s going to come from the outside, and it’s going to going into the mother and it’s going to connect with the egg. So the bond came from the outside and the tube has always been inside. Everything has always been inside. The outside of the universe is still inside. There are the ones. Possess as tug a grave, a human has a personality, crystal and a designed crystal. They’re the same, they’re the same. The born on the outside as a designed crystal. What’s come in from the outside to fertilize the barn on the outside is the design crystal. The two is an egg. But that egg, because it is form the egg, is made up of what we call design crystals. The personality crystal of the child does not enter the body. Design crystals are binary in nature. In a rave, there’s a prime design crystal in the ajna center and untold billions of design crystals in every cell. The tube is cellular, the body’s prime. So think about that. There is no such thing as a personality, Crystal, in the real sense of the word, none in terms of what you do analytically, because in that sense, the personality Crystal is performing that kind of a function. But it’s not a personality, Crystal. The personality crystal is not come. That’s why the light is full of promise. It’s why the darkness is so feared, because everything that we know of this universe, everything is hidden, everything is in. There is no true yáng. It has not come yet. And we keep on getting these promises that it’s going to come. You know, they met in the geometry, they shattered. I saw the bio, by the way. I saw the bio, which the voice did for me, lasted about two hours. It was one of the most incredible pieces of poetry I’ve ever heard. It was a wonderful, wonderful thing. I remember little of it. And whatever I remember it, I recorded I wrote down because that was quite a thing. It was like I it was like listening to a cosmic homer give a you know, you give an epic the tug and it’s a.. Neutrino core with the string and the clay. The builders way. The sum of Io, one of the moons of Jupiter. The two is the builder of the body of the child. And they’re talking about the universe, the Toogood’s, the builder, the body of the child. The program formula was compressed dormant at the core belief before the start that on impact, the race began first, the light piercing the darkness, then the string close hind laying out the lines. The string is the neutrinos. The neutrinos string light travels faster than neutrinos. Just it’s this wonderful image. If you can see this, if you can imagine a point of light in the darkness and you could watch that point of light rays out into the vast void of darkness. And behind it is neutrinos string bringing this incredible carpentry, this incredible fractal matrix that everything will eventually be structured. So first, the light piercing the darkness and then the string close by. [00:00:02][0.0]


Unexpected Path to Destiny (pt 2 of 2)- 1997 Grey Course – Ahr Zhe Winnie

The Lost Known Path to Ibiza (part 2 of 2)

[00:46:31] About a half hour later, a well-known European actress came in and said to Harrison, Don’t forget that there’s a dinner party tonight at my house and bring your friend. So, I went from Sandy’s bar into the Kempo in Ibiza to this little palace in the middle of the, in the middle of the valley. And I sit down there with people who till this day, are very close to me, friends of mine. And one of them was an English painter, Roger, Roger Dixon. I called him the last impressionist. I don’t think he ever liked that. [00:47:02][31.7]

[00:47:06] that house of a English actor John Hurt and he’d been given this house to live and to paint in and he asked me if I had a place to live and I said no. He said, well you can live on the roof of my house. And so, my first two months in Ibiza I lived on the roof of John’s, John Hurt’s house, enjoying myself, actually, except that I didn’t have any money and I certainly didn’t have anything to do. And uh, my friend, the painter, he said to me, you know, he said there’s a, there’s a woman that runs a school for foreigners. You know, maybe you can get a job as a teacher. And that was easy for me, because it’s all I had done so much teaching in my life. So, I went to see her. She died this last year. She was a real out eye for me. I went to see her Mary, Mary Blackstoned, uh, a Canadian from the west coast of Canada half Indian with a Norwegian husband. Pioneer to many of these people. She had five children. They had no school. So she built the school and eventually became the school where the foreigners could put their kids. And the moment that she met me, she said, yes. We need a teacher. And I ended up having to teach five different subjects because, of course they were always suffering from lack of teachers. The, I looked very strange things in those days, I wore what looked like Arab booktae on my head. That’s too much too many stories to tell, but nonetheless I looked very strange. It looked like John the Baptist from New York and, uh, I had no place to live. And Mary said to me, well, you have a place to live. I said, no. She said, Well, you know, I have a friend of mine that owns a piece of land in a mountain, but there’s no house there. I said that’s okay. I went up there and took a look at this beautiful place overlooking the Mediterranean. You could see half of the island and looked like. Well, it felt like Olympus. It was a beautiful place. There was an ancient ruwena behind it, but there was the walls were already down below the ankle. And I went to the school the next day and I said to her, could I have a chair? She said, yes. And I took that chair and walked up the mountain. And there was a time, the place was all terraces, terraces. And there was this tiny terrace, about this corner here. And it had a lobe tree, a carob tree, big ole carob tree. And I climbed up into that tree and I put the chair of the tree, and that’s where I lived for a year. I went from being super-yuppie with every toy in the world and all the conveniences of Western life and I spent my first year in Ibiza living in a tree. I had no shelter. I had a wonderful time up there. My students loved it. This weird man would come walking down the mountain and come into the classroom and teach them all this stuff. And then they would follow me back up this mountain and they would see that I really indeed live in a tree. Something that I, that made me quite notorious in those days. It was very beautiful for me. I would sing myself to sleep at night. Acappella. I don’t, don’t know where the ballad was at, but I have an enormous memory and I probably have three or four or five thousand songs in my head. So, I could amuse myself. It was very meditative, and it was very peaceful, and it was the beginning of my process. I spent a number of years teaching there. I left the school I couldn’t handle all those restrictions and I had an experimental school for a while. And then my process really changed. It went into a, it went into a world where I could no longer be able to function properly with other human beings,and it was at that point that basically I left everything behind and, well, went wild, as it were. I just disappeared again, in a way. I went up into the mountains. I left behind all of my responsibilities. All of the people that were in my life. I simply wanted to be alone. To live in nature and I would live after that for three and a half years where I would never touch money. Three and a half years where everything that came to me and into me was what was there. I lived off the ground. Uh, I ate fruits when they were in season. I ate carrots, like the pigs do, to keep myself alive, I went long times without food. I’ve had fasts that lasted as long as 44 days. I spent my life in nature. I suppose it reconstituting myself. Reconstituting. [00:52:16][310.6]

[00:52:32] When I’m alone, I’m silent. When I was alone a long time, I was silent a long time. I was silent so long that I wondered if I could speak anymore because I spent so long in silent. I went through many, many things in those years, the years that led up to my experience with the voice. All kinds of processes that one goes through, but all of that was simply in preparation for the experience that I was gong to have. One of the things that I’ve learned about so many of the things that I was involved with in my life, why my life had been something that was so eclectic and why there was so there was so many things that I was interested in, so many things that I pursued, why I had a lifelong of experimentation with drugs, I’ve taken thousands upon thousands of drugs. I put 11,000 needles in my body. I have had taken over 2000 LSD trips, I’ve put all kinds of drugs in my body, just about everything you can imagine. All of them were in preparation for the moment that I could meet the voice. Nothing more. And nothing less. You see the nature of the shaman ways that these things are tools as a training, anything. I mean, I thought that I was looking for something. I have both my Neptunes in the 48. Neptune’s the God of drugs. I have a very powerful splenic system and fortunately, I’m still alive after all these things. But the reality was that it was just preparation, it was preparation most of all to be able to withstand the shock. You see I’m not a channel. I’m not one of these people that has contacts with angels, whatever people call these things, whether it’s Seth or Buddha consciousness, or Christ consciousness or whatever the inspiration is, I am not the son of the father, the son of the mother. I was raped, I was violated, I was brought form knowledge, something in my own experience through what I’ve been through and what I’ve read, I’ve never read anything like it. I don’t know anything that’s ever been like it. Certainly, nobody who had that experience, who wasn’t ready could have survived it. I had a very fun experience last year in America, had a woman came up to me, and she said, Oh, I wish I could have an experience like that. Hard to imagine what that’s like. Hard to imagine that it’s just something that can happen to you. Hard to imagine that, eh? I’m a deeply, deeply cynical man. I trust absolutely nothing. Never have. Never will. Still don’t. So for me to be confronted by such a force, such a thing was a, as deep shock as I’ve had. We’ll have our break now. When we come back, I’ll tell you about my dealing with the voice. [00:55:45][193.1]

[00:55:59] The demonstration there by the way, is the is the design of the energy for the ephemeris at the moment that I had contact with the voice, so, that what’s hidden, actually that illustration. There is a, I’ve had a storyteller’s life, so there is an awful lot of stories that I could tell about my process or my mystical process. But obviously, the most significant thing is about the nature of my experience with the voice. I had a very special experience on the 17th of October 1985, uh, these needles that I put in my body that I talked about this was an experimental drug, it was anesthetic called ketamine and I had my first experience with that on the 17th of October 1985. It’s a very strange thing that happens to you. It’s very quick. And it gets into your body very quickly. Uh, what it does is that it puts your body to sleep and it allows your consciousness to stay awake, so you loose your body, you die. And in my first event, what happened to me was that not only did I lose my body, disappeared entirely, but I got into some kind of a movement in space. My, felt like my body was being thrown against a wall that I was flying at enormous speeds into space. I remember having this conversation inside. Is it a Thursday? And I heard myself answer, yes. Am I on a drug? And I heard myself say, I don’t know. And I said, oh, are, are, am I going to be all right? And this voice said, this is it. And I said, This is it? It said, yes, is it. I burst into something, I call it an aroma. I don’t know how else to call it. It’s the closest I come to what people call the white, or the light, or I don’t know what all that is. All I know is that in that experience, something extraordinary happened to me and that what I smelled was intelligence. It’s a, it is not something that is possible, knowers have difficulty to explain things that are unexplainable. It’s not something I can explain, it’s only something that I can describe as an experience. It’s what I call the smelling of God, whatever that means. I have never had a truly spiritual or mystical experience in my life. And that was the first time that I came into contact with something that deeply surprised me. It’s over very quickly. You come back into your body in about 40 minutes, and it disarranges you, that is it effects your inner ear so that you have a poor sense of balance, most people get very ill. When I, was late in the evening, by the time I fell asleep and when I woke up in the morning, it had all been forgotten. It had been brought to me by a friend of John Lilly’s, John Lilly had use of the first time in his experimentations with dolphins. And uh, I had a friend of mine, an American renaissance man, first person I met that really loved God. I mean, as a concept which he considered to be himself. He kept on telling me that when he was going to die, everything was going to go with him, this want to go. Frank. And I went to see him, and I said, Frank, I’ve tried this thing called K, you should really try this. This is quite something, it’s different, you die. He said, oh, I always wanted to die. Let’s try. And he had this thing about using LSD before he did anything. So, we had to go out together on an LSD trip and we’re sitting in a little bay called chugalug up on the rocks. And the night was there. And the Ibiza sky at night is one of the more incredible things in this planet. It’s Wall-to-wall stars it’s really magnificent. And I was lying there with the stars penetrating and pulsating around me. And all of a sudden one of these stars caught my attention. I don’t know till this day what start it was, but it caught my attention and I started to stare at it. And the longer I stared at it, the stranger I felt, and then all of a sudden, my experience of smelling God came back to me and I started to cry, I started to shout. They thought I had gone mad. I was really just suddenly remembering all of that. One of the things that happened in that event was that when all of this remembering came back to me, I also knew that I was going to die. Became very clear to me that I was going to die. And that I was going to die on the 21st, 24th of September in 1986. And uh, I began to tell people that, that I was going to die. There are many stories with that, but nonetheless, when the night came, I didn’t die, but it was quite extraordinary. I had somebody come up to my tent, had a tent in the hills and come up to my tent. And they opened my tent, and they pointed a gun inside and they said, Do you really want to die? I’ll do it for you. I said, no I’m tired of this, I wanna go to sleep. When I woke up in the morning for the first time in all my years in Ibiza, I took the covering off my head. And I lived alone in a ruwena. I had had a house in Ibiza called Casabonchu. And when I stepped out and left everything behind, I left that house. And in the back of that house was an ancient ruwena where the original house was. It died about 300 years ago. All that was left was one room. It was all broken-down walls and old archways. And in that one room, the one room had been fixed up by the previous owner of the house. So it could be used as a kind of study or an extra bedroom or something that people came, wasn’t very pretty. But nonetheless, it was functional. And I had a friend of mine who was an English poet. He had no place to live. And I told him that he could come live in this ruwena. When I didn’t die. He came to me and said, you know, I have a place for you. You should get off the ground, you’ve been on the ground too long. He said, why don’t you come live in this ruwena that you gave to me and I have to go England. And so I moved into this ruwena. And I moved into this one room and had a platform inside a desk and bookshelf. And bookshelf was full of books and herbs. He was a herb collector. And there was this one door, and this door had an ancient old key, one of these huge iron keys. When around the time that my daughter was born, I used to keep drawing diaries and they were symbol diaries of my life. And they contained no words. They only contained my drawings. And on every page, there was a drawing of this key. It was many, many, many, many years before all that. And there was this wonderful key that opened up this stone. There was a Dutch couple. They were fascinated by my process. I was quite notorious for that stage and considered by most people to be dangerous. And they were fascinated with me. And they would come once a week and get me and they would bring me to their house and they would turn on their tape recorder and they would just let me talk and I would talk about what I was going through with my process. And they would give me a nice lunch and they would give me 2,000 picadas and a piece of hashish. And they would send me home. And this was, kept me alive. On January the 3rd, 1987, it was a day when I had visited them and picked me up in the morning, I’d gone to them. And I was disturbed that day because I had enormous pain in my mouth, a toothache. And when the day was done, Phillips said to me, Do you need anything? And I said, you have anything for a toothache? The obvious joke about that. He offered me something called mopac. And then they drove me back to the highway near my rowina. We do this in candlelight, I could scare the hell out of you. [01:05:53][594.8]

[01:06:09] I can’t get it out of my head so I might as well get rid of it. My friend Frank, it’s one of the favorite stories that I’ve ever heard anybody tell me. He was in the Korean War, while he was in the Korean War, and he was a 19-year-old soldier in the U.S. Army. And he was on the front line fighting the Chinese and he was in a trench in one of these pits and it was the wintertime. So, everything was covered with snow. And he was in this pit by himself, a self-confessed coward. I mean he was terrified that this was all going to be the end for him. And the thing you had to listen for was that listen for the sound of the snow crunching because you knew that the Chinese soldiers that were wearing these soft padded boots, you could hear them moving across the snow. You knew you better stand up and look and see what’s there. And he heard it and he said everything inside of him just went totally numb. You could not move. You could not do anything. And then he heard it and he heard it. And then all of a sudden, Chinese grenade comes over the top of this pit and lands right inside his trench. And there’s a grenade right in front of him. And he’s just standing there, frozen, can’t do anything. And it didn’t go off. And he said, you know, he stood there for hours and he said it did not go off. And he knew after that he said that he was in charge of the universe. He was convinced. I’m always hoping that Frank stays alive. [01:07:45][96.0][01:07:54] I give names to everything. I even give names to the things I cook. I give names to everything, and I lived with a dog. The only animal in my life that was ever a pet never came close to me, and his name was Barley Baker. All my animals have last names. He had a last name. His name was Barley Baker. Barley was savage, was a natural born killer. And he had a, he had a master that never fed him, I never had any food. So, he had to feed himself. So, he would hunt sheep and get shot, he’d kill chickens and he would do all those things that carnivores do, he was a carnivore. The only thing was that he knew me from the moment that I was two days old when, when he was given to me by a, the daughter of a friend of mine. And so, he knew my scent and he was alright with me, but he didn’t like people and he certainly did. I watched him one day kill a dog in a dog fight. He was savage. So, I arrive. It’s dark, it’s wintertime and it’s dark early. And I arrive at the bottom of the hill, at the highway. And the moment that I step onto the path, I can, I can feel it because it’s, you live that kind of a life, I always have a deep connection to animals. And he just immediately picks up my smell. He knows I’m there. And he comes and he says oh. And we climb up the hill. And when we get to the top of the hill, there’s a terrace and go along with the terrace. I’m walking along the terrace this way. What is in front of me is the original front door of the house. But the only thing that’s there is the archway. The walls are gone. The ceiling is gone. And you can look through the archway and you can see the little room that the ruwena was, that was the, would have been the room that they had built with their first child because it was the smallest, the smallest room in the house. The room sat over a cisterna, an empty well, the well went dry about three hundred years ago, it’s why the house was given up. So this room was sitting over a cavern. Inside of the room there was a uh, butuna bottle that ran a little gas stove and above the platform where I slept, hanging from a beam, there was a kerosene lantern and the kerosene lantern had never been on, because it was out of kerosene. And I could not afford either to get it, nor was, I didn’t even know where to get it as a matter of fact aside from anything else. So, I’m walking along with Barley along this terrace. And when I get outside of the main entrance to the house, outside of the archway, I already begin to feel uncomfortable. I don’t know why. But anyway, in that moment, a tightening in my stomach muscles. And I stepped through the, the old, the old archway, and as I stepped through the archway, I realized because it’s a shock to me that there is a light underneath my door. Now, this is an ancient, evacanco door. It’s got this one big fat iron key. There’s only one key. You can’t break that lock. I mean, I guess you could, but it’s not the kind of thing where anybody could just get in. But it was more the light that disturbed me. I lived, occasionally, occasionally I would have a candle, but rarely have light. I’m an Aries it was easy for me to go to sleep at five o’clock in the afternoon and get up at four o’clock in the morning. I mean, I lived my own world it didn’t make any difference to me. So I was standing there and there is light under the door and Barley, who normally goes ahead of me, is behind and I’m very aware of the fact that he’s behind me and that he’s not interested in all of that. And he’s not moving. It was the first joke for me, because the door was maybe as close as I am to this door here. And I shouted at it and what I sounded was, who there? This is my joke. And I shouted, Who’s there? And the, the ruwena sits on a hill that goes down into a valley. And on the other side there’s a whole range of hills. So, in this night, in the dark, with this strip of light under my door, I hear my own voice echoing through the valley. Who is there?


Unexpected Path to Destiny (pt 1 of 2)- 1997 Grey Course – Ahr Zhe Winnie

The Lost But Known Path to Ibiza (part 1 of 2)

[00:17:12] In 1983, I was living in Toronto, Canada, and I had a film company, an entertainment company is called RKA Entertainment. And I made films for television. I made rock and roll videos and I did a fashion documentary films throughout the world. And I built a media business. I lived in a very large old Victorian house in the heart of Sydney, and every room in the house was painted black and all the carpets were black, and the furniture was black, and all the dishes were black, and all the, well, everything was black. There with these very colorful pictures on the walls that we’re taken during my trips, my film trips, but it was a very black place. And the only thing that wasn’t black was my car. I had a white Cadillac, big white Cadillac with red leather interior, with one, one of these automatic busses that surrounded it. I was in the middle of making the first rock and roll 3D movie, which one of the Canadian banks had given me a million dollars to make, which I thought was really nice of them. And I had a whole bunch of employees and 24 union employees, plus my staff. And at the top of this old Victorian mansion, I had a flat, where I lived. And I got up one morning. I used to do very strange things, I have an unconscious mind, I really don’t know what goes on inside of me until it happens. I’m a very spontaneous being. And what would often happen to me is and I would get up in the morning and I would pack out a satchel of mine and I would pack it with lots of things and I would get into my car and usually take LSD and go for a drive. I would often ended up in all kinds of bizarre places, usually some bordering states and I had to scramble back to get to work. So, it was something that was not terribly unusual for me, I got up in the morning and I opened up my satchel and I threw some things and some. And I went over, had a big, long desk that was the length of the whole room, a very strange thing, it had a running board on the side that would slide back and forth. And I went into the petty cash box and I think I took out seven or eight hundred dollars. I don’t remember how much it was. I took some money out. Put it in my pocket. And I started to cry. I had no idea what’s going on. I had no idea what’s going on. And when things like that would occur to me because of the nature of the kind of being this is, I just didn’t pay any attention to it. It’s just that you’re nuts this morning. Oh, I went downstairs, and I opened up my garage and I got inside my car and drove around the corner. Because around the corner was a pharmacy where I could go and buy my cigarettes. And I pulled up in front of the pharmacy and I got out of my car and left the engine running. I grabbed the satchel, I went into the pharmacy and bought two packages of Du Maurier, my favorite Canadian cigarettes, and went out the other door. Left my car idling there, in the street. And as I was going out the other door, something inside of me said, do you have any idea what you just did? I had absolutely no control over myself. [00:21:08][235.9]

[00:21:21] One of the things that I find interesting about myself is that from that point on to my life, I would go through a great many bizarre things. And what I discovered was that I was never really involved. I mean, as I was walking out of the pharmacy, and I remember it vividly as I was walking out and, and I was walking down. I was walking down Young Street, which is a main street in Toronto, and I was walking towards this train station. And it was clear to me that I was walking towards the train station. And it was clear to me that something was going on, but I had no idea what it was. I had flashes of my car standing there with the engine still running, which seemed very amusing to me and I started to laugh as I was walking down the street. I went into the train station and I took a ticket to a small town in Ontario called Belleville, I had a friend of mine who lived out there, he was a, he was a, a drug dealer, he was a smuggler, he used to smuggle hashish from India bring it to Canada and he built himself a retreat in the River country, and he bought an old mill, fixed up this old mill that had a, that had its own dam and generated its own electricity, he was one of these, uh hippies. He was a hippie. I was the first yuppie. And I take the train out to Bellville, Ontario, and I take a taxicab about is to his place. And as I’m arriving, he and his wife and their child are leaving. And we have about 10 minutes of dialog, and he was used to be coming out there and he gave me the keys to the mill, and he told me where to leave them and they were going on vacation. So, I was all alone there. And it was very hot, it was very hot. The rivers had been, had been low on water and there was, if you walked up to the mill house, there was this dam that went across the river and the water was very low. So it was just this trickle of water that was going over the dam and it was about this wide. So, I took off all my clothes and I went up there and I sat in the middle of this dam. I had a sense of tragedy or grief for. And yet that day, I think I cried enough to last a lifetime. I don’t think I’ll ever have to cry again. I, I just sat there, and I and I dehydrated, is basically what I did. Totally dehydrated. I had to crawl out of there. I was cramped afterwards. I sat there like that for hours and hours and hours. And in a very strange space because there was no, it’s very difficult with this kind of a mind to have any access to what’s going on inside. I don’t have any way of knowing what my mind is actually going through. This is all, has always been an utter mystery to me. So, as I sat there and I went through this process, I eventually crawled into this house and went to sleep. And when I got up in the morning, I went to the bus station in the, in the town. And I took a bus to Montreal, where I had been born. And when I got into the bus depot, the announcer in the bus depot said, next train New York. And I said well okay. And I got on the next bus to the next bus and I took this bus to New York. This is a horrible bus ride. It’s about 13 hours of hell. And I got to New York, and when I got to New York I wanted to see an old friend of mine. [00:25:01][220.4]

[00:25:03] I used to, uh, sing professionally in New York. I worked as a folk singer there and many, many friends in the music business there. And I went to see a buddy of mine. We went out to a show together. and said to me, where are you going? And I heard myself say, Europe. And he said to me, where? I said, I don’t know. He says, well, by the way, there’s a People’s flight leaving, and I think they’re shutting down the airline and you can get across for 99 bucks. So, the next morning, I went to JFK and I got the last People’s flight, ey? I took the last People’s Airline out of New York to Brussels. Cost me ninety-nine dollars and they give you a bag when you get on the plane. It has a sandwich in it, eh? This was a wonderful service. [00:25:46][42.5]

[00:25:56] When I do the, the advanced training, I always tell stories about these role gates that come out of the cell. And I tell about this airplane crash in which all these different roles play out the parts and I tell people about the 20/10 you know, that the 20/10 always disappears. It disappears, a bottle, man. Well, I was a great disappear-er. I disappear. The moment that I got on that plane and I went across the Atlantic Ocean, I disappeared. Nobody heard from me. My family. My children, my workers, my friends, my parents, my relatives. I didn’t say goodbye to anybody. I simply disappeared and they would not hear from you for a very long time. I would be declared dead, legally. I would have to prove that I was alive. Eventually. This is very ugly to tell you this story. This is not something that you decide to do. I was very successful in the mundane sense of the word. I had power. I had an enormous amount of wealth for my age. I had a good life. I had a creative life. I didn’t lack for anything. There was no mystical or spiritual aspect to my nature. I have never been religious in any way, shape or form, and other than my experience with the Voice, I would still be denying the existence of that, because it never made any sense to me. Uh, I wasn’t interested in esoterica, I wasn’t interested in any of those things. No value to me. And I certainly wasn’t concerned about my life. I had always been a success. I’d always been smarter, faster, it’s always easy for me, what was hard for others. I never had anything to worry about. And there I was sitting on this airplane and I had left it all. [00:28:10][133.3]

[00:28:12] And there was nothing that I could do. There was nothing I could have done. I was absolutely helpless and that it was totally clear to me. I did know what was happening. But I didn’t know why it was happening. There is no question that while I was going through the process, from the moment I left my car, there was a sense inside of me that I may be cracking. There was a part of me that sort of thought, well, this is too much. I have done many strange things in my life. So, it wasn’t enormously out of context, but it was still a little extreme. So, there was a part of me that was concerned about that. But nonetheless, there was nothing that I could do about that. I simply disappeared. It is an archetype. It’s an archetype to disappear. It’s not something that is original with me. It’s an archetype of the way. It’s something that has to happen. It’s what often is called spiritual death. You come to a point of mystic death, come to a point where the mundane plane simply dissolves and crashes to the ground. So I disappeared and I disappeared and had no name and landed in Brussels. Brussels is a disgustingly boring city. It took me about three minutes on the streets to realize that was not the place for me. And I went to Amsterdam. And in Amsterdam, I down, near the damn in the heart of the town, I found myself one of these very, very cheap panscions. And it was a dormitory with the four beds. And I check into this room and there was a young American, one of my allies in life. He came in the panscion about 20 minutes after me, I was lying down, just vibrating, and he came in and started small talk me, you know, how are you? Oh, you’re from North America, blah, blah, blah. And you said to me, where are you going? And I said, I don’t know. He said, you should go to Ibiza. I said I should go where? He said Ibiza. I said, what is it? He said, Well, it’s an island. I said, where? He said, It in the Mediterranean off the coast of Spain. I said, Well, how do I get there? And he said, well, around the corner there’s a travel agency and they sell tickets for something called the Magic Bus. It’s one of the ironies of my mystical journey that I took the last People’s Airline flight, and I took the last Magic Bus ride from Amsterdam to Barcelona. [00:31:13][181.5]

[00:31:33] The channel of initiation, the design of looking into the void. Looking into the void is not about awareness. It had nothing to do with my awareness. The mystical way has nothing to do with awareness. The patterns have always been there. They will always be there. Many years ago, I was sitting on a mountain and a friend came up to me with a datura flower. And he said to me, try this, it’s better than what you’ve been using. So I took that that datura flower and I dried it and I cut out the veins of the statement and I took out the statement of the veins from the leaves and I decided I worked it mortar and pestle and so I loaded it up into a vitamin B shot and I shot it into my body. Nothing seemed to happen. Hours went by. And then all of a sudden, I went out like a light, and when I woke up and there were two hands digging into my thighs, tearing into them, and there were two hands in my throat, and there was somebody trying to pull my heart directly out of my body. And there were demons, and they were as real to me in that state as you walk to me at lunch it was frightening. And I fought with these demons. I don’t know how long I fought with them. I kicked them and I bit them. And I did everything I could to stay alive. And at some point, inside of all of that, there was this very quiet, very still voice inside of me that said, Ra, you’re having a drug muscle contraction. It all went away. I went outside. I lived in an old house, there was a well, I took a cold bucket of water, out of the well and I poured it over my head. Shamed myself out of that. Went back into the room and I put a bolt on my door, a big pole so nobody would come in. And I went back into a coma, my second event and I come out and there’s this bizarre thing in my room. Very bizarre. The voice would tell me about this thing. Hard to describe it, my brain said dog, but it wasn’t a dog, but it was sort of that size, but I didn’t know whether it had a head or a tail. It seemed to vibrate somehow. It sort of looked like a Rastafarian metallic locks, kind of kind of orange rusty color, this high, this big. And I was staring at this thing and I was saying, this is really incredible. Is it alive? Can I touch it? Is it real? What’s with this whole process, right? And in the moment that I was ready to do something, this thing, jump is not the word, levitate is not the word, but whatever it did, it went up in the air and it went around me. I was sitting on a platform and it went around me, and I could feel it go past me though it did not touch me. And then it went out the door, I mean through the door like Casper the friendly Ghost would go. [00:34:47][193.7]

[00:34:48] I had other events, four years ago, five years ago now, when Jürgen and I were, four years ago in our second year visiting in, in Austria, we were staying in Veen. We were staying in Kahlenberg, overlooking Veen (Vienna), in, uh, in the house of the grandson of Arthur Schnitzler, Arthur Schnitzler, there was this incredible library in the house. And one of the books was called Mayan Pharmacology that immediately attracted attention. And I went to it and I pull up this huge, you know, coffee table book and I open the book up and opens up to the section on datura. I never seen such a big section anywhere. And so, I start reading this and it says that datura was never given to the official priesthood. It was for the black shaman, the rogues. And the only way that they could start with that datura, is that somebody had to come up to them and say, try this. It’s better than what you’ve been using. This was thousands of years old and there I am sitting there telling me my story. And then they begin to describe exactly what happens, you know, they describe how the first thing that happens is you meet the demons and I’m going yeah. And it described each of the events that I had. It’s all a pattern, it’s just a pattern. I have no vanity in my movie, I just live out a pattern. It’s just another pattern and the patterns have always been there. And they will be repeated as long as we are in these forms, because it’s the nature of the pattern. What I experienced in disappearing was not my own. This was not me any more than my experiences with this old black drug datura were my experience. They were the experience within the pattern, the pattern’s always there. If the pattern is there for you, it happens. If it’s not there for you, it does not. Don’t take datura by the way, it’s very dangerous drug. Makes most people crazy. They never get past the demons. [00:37:13][145.1]

[00:37:36] This leaping into the void business, this is the ego in the 51. The ego says I’m leaping into the void, but the Shaman on the other side, the priestess on the other side in the 25th gate says no, no, no, no, no. The leaping is something that happens. It’s something that happens. You can’t leap into the void. It happens to you. There is no other way. And no vanity is going to ever be able to embrace that reality, that the void is there. And what happens is what happens. This young American that I met in Amsterdam, and when he said to me he was going out if I needed anything. And I said, well, if you find somebody with some marijuana, get me some. I didn’t see him the rest of the night. I went out and did my whatever it was. I come back. He wasn’t there, I go to sleep. I get up in the morning. I get my satchel. I go down around the corner and I go into this place and I get my magic bus ride. By the way, this is a horror trip, ey? This is 18 hours on a bus going from Amsterdam to Barcelona. And it’s a long endless journey. And I sat in deep silence with uptight, very weird people all around me on this bus, and we finally get to the Spanish border. And we get to the Spanish border and one of the Guardia Civil comes on the bus and he walks up and down the bus. And of course, he stops with me. And tells me that I have to get my bag and to come inside with him. Now, I was very well known and by that time I had already been gone about a week and there was a great deal of concern in me at that moment. Oh, you know what? If Interpol, blah, because the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, the famous Mounties, were out looking for me. They looked for me for years. They wanted to know what happened to me, there were all kinds of stories that were told, that I was kidnaped, murdered. I was a drug dealer, I was this I was that, all kinds of legends about all that. Nonetheless, my concern at that moment was, you know, I’m going to be in trouble. Something’s gone wrong. So I get off this bus. Everybody on the bus is really annoyed. They’ve been sitting on the bus 14 hours and they just want to get to Barcelona. And now in the middle of the night, they’ve stopped us and they’ve taken me into this main entrance. So I go in there with them and they take my satchel, it’s the only bag I have, they take my satchel and they zip it open, and sitting on top of my satchel is a joint, a marijuana joint. This young American who thought he was doing me a favor had rolled me a joint at night and put it on my bag so that I would see it. And here I am in the situation where I got these three guys standing around me. They opened up my bag, it’s sitting on the top and I look at them and I say, it’s not mine. And, you know, while I’m telling them it’s not mine, this guy is taking it and he’s breaking it open and he takes his lighter. And he lights it and he sniffs it. And he says to me do you know what this is? I said, yes, of course I know what it is. It’s not mine. [00:41:14][217.7]

[00:41:29] So the Haifa, the boss opens the door of his office and goes on. So, I go into his office now and his office behind his desk is, is a giant window that looks out onto the road where the cars were lined on the border. So outside, behind his desk, outside this enormous window is the whole bus that’s waiting. So all of these people, because the lights on in his office, it’s night time, all of these people are looking directly into his office as I come in and he tells me take off all my clothes. So leaping into the void is not a thing you choose, ey? I was actually quite concerned because I had a money belt on my leg and I thought it might make him nervous. You know, I didn’t know what was going to happen to be in this situation. But nonetheless, I take off my clothes and when I get to the money belt, this it’s OK. It’s just money, you know. Then he looks at me and the bus looks at me. This was my baptism, eh? And he says to me, it wasn’t yours? I said, no, it wasn’t mine. He said, You can go. [00:42:41][72.6][00:42:47] So I get dressed and while I’m getting dressed, the guards, guys in the front room, they’re packing up my bag and that’s because they ripped the bloody thing apart, they pack everything up and they’re folding my my stuff and they’re putting it in very nicely and they’re zipping it up for me. And I come out and one of them comes to me and he says to me, where are you going? I said Ibiza. He starts to laugh, he says, Oh, you like this place. And out I go. So I get back onto the bus. And when I got on the bus, you could swear I had AIDS. The way these people dealt with me when I, that’s the coldest vibe I’ve ever had in my life. They had to sit there for an hour and a half, OK, and watch my whole movie, OK, I’m sure they enjoyed themselves. So we finally get going. We get on this bus, we get all the way down to Barcelona. It’s very late. I get out of the bus, I get into a taxi, I go to the port and I’m just in time to catch the ferry that’s going to Ibiza. Now the only thing that I had on me was I had American money. So, I rush up to the wicket. You know, these are people that I say you. Yeah, you don’t hurry people, they rush up to this guy, you not another dollar. Come on, man. So I give him I give him the money. He gives me my ticket and my change I get on the ferry, it was quite, I had run down. I you know, I climb up there on the stairs, it’s about to go away. I get onto the ferry and I look at what he gave me and he had given me more money than I had given him. Not only did he, had he given me more money, he paid for my ticket to Ibiza, which I thought was very, very generous of them. After going through this embarrassment of having come naked Spain and naked into the country, eh? I finally get off onto this ferry and they pay for my ride into Ibiza. So I arrive in Ibiza at night and the lights are shining in the harbor. And this young American had told me that when I go to a Ibiza, I have to go to a place called Sandi’s Bar, which is very famous. And it was a freak bar that people do all over the planet. And I walk into this bar with my satchel and the moment I walk in the bartender, there was only one other person in the bar. The bartender says to me, throw it in the fireplace, which, he was talking about my bag. And I certainly caught what he was saying. And so I threw it in the fireplace. And there’s this guy standing there. Fisherman turns out American, huge beard on him. His name was Harrison Fisherman. Everybody called him Harrison Fisherman and he was one of these people who had love to tell your secret and wonderful stories about fishing in the South Pole. And God knows how much of it was true. But he was he was fun. And he starts to chat me up. You know, he starts talking to me and he starts telling me his story and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And this goes on. I don’t know what I’m doing there. And at some point, he stops and he introduces himself to me. My name is Harrison, everybody calls me Harrison Fisherman, and he said, What’s your name. And I’ve had this now many times in my process my ears go, funny, it’s like being in an airplane and there’s like pressure and I heard myself say, Ra. Eh, it sounded very strange to me, it did not sound strange to him, obviously. He said nice to meet you. That’s how I started my Ibiza adventure. 


Deep Knowledge Secrets of the 20th Gate – 1997 Grey Course – Ahr Zhe Winnie

Secrets of the 20th Gate

[00:05:05] You look at this illustration, this illustration shows you the three mystical channels, the 20/10, the Channel of Awakening, the twenty-five fifty-one, the channel of initiation and the nineteen forty-five, the channel of synthesis and the bridge that joins them. The bridge is not mystical. This is the 40/37. This is the bridge way. When you’re looking at this, you’re looking at two worlds. You’re looking at a world that starts from the throat down and you’re looking at a world that starts from the adrenaline system, up. We start at the bottom. When we were doing the course on caring, and earlier we talked about the nature of the tribe and that the tribe on the splenic side is based on a hierarchical structure, the kind of structure that we find in corporate culture. Well, there’s a mystical culture. There’s the traditional mystical corporation. And that mystical corporation begins with the 19th hexagram, the 19th hexagram, like the 54th Hexagram, The Marring maiden. This is where you always start. You start at the bottom of the mystical ladder and you start with a need that lies within you, because this is the gate of need, needing to be wanted, needing to be needed, needing a place to fit in. And this 19 is the beginning of mystical longing. It’s the beginning of the possibilities of the mystical way, and it is the vast majority of humanity. And the stage that they are still in. That stage is the need, and the need is unresolved. When you get to the forty ninth gate in its mirror to the 32nd gate, we saw that the thirty second gate was the financial officer of a corporation. It was the one that in a sense could recognize whether or not the employee was of value. The money lenders still run the religious business. The 49th gate is the gate of the money lenders, what temple will they build? Will they build the temple to bow? Which temple and who will pay for the temple? The people need a temple. Someone has to build them the temple. The 49 builds the temple, but it’s in the wave. The temple that rises up in hope can be burnt to the ground when the wave comes down to pain. This is the beginning of the people and their spirit, and it is deeply mundane. It is a need and it’s a need that is manipulated by the emotional principals of the 49th gate. This is the vast majority of humanity. The vast majority of humanity. My God good. Your God bad. Then you get to the bridge and when you get to the bridge, the channel community, you get to the 32nd hexagram, the 32nd hexagram is the hexagram of family of friendship. We saw that when we were looking at the forty fourth gate in its corporate structure. We saw this with the personnel manager. The thirty seventh gate is looking for God. It’s always looking for God. It’s endlessly looking for God. It rarely finds it. It’s looking to be touched by God. It rarely gets it. What it ends up looking for is that it ends up looking for others to join it in its quest. This is the great missionary gate, looking for God, and looking for those that will support the church, to support the temple, to support whatever it may be. What they’re looking for is the 40. It’s one of the most amusing things in my work, is to see very clearly what the tribe is looking for. The tribe is driven to look for will power. So, we have a theology that is based on will and exists everywhere. This concept that it’s up to us. Because the 37 doesn’t have God. It can’t find God by itself, any more than you can find the throat by itself. It needs that ego, and it needs that willpower. Thy will be done. So, it looks to the forty. The forty says there is no God. I don’t believe that there’s a God. There can’t be a God. The 40’s usually find God, leave the 37’s behind. The tribe could never be led by one of its own. It’s not possible. No one tribal can lead the tribe. All things are led by the individual. The individual brings mutation. The individual brings what is new. And when you follow this line from the 19 going up to the forty you have the whole stream of sensitivity, that is all tribal. These are those that follow. They are not those that lead. They are those that follow. As an archetype, please understand that. When you come to the other side and you start from the throat down, you start what they’re looking for, what they need to find. They’re looking for the awakened one, they’re looking for the, the awakened one that will initiate them. This is their process. This is the whole process of the mystical way. The totality starts from the nineteen and the individual has to start from the 20. The heart of the individual process, the key in the individual process is the 20th Hexagram, the 20th hexagram is the only existential field that we have and by existential, understand that it’s not about the now, it’s about the present, but it keeps us basically rooted in the present. But what’s so important about the nature of the 20th gate is its voice. It’s a voice. [00:12:32][447.0]

[00:12:36] You see, there have been many wise people and there have been so many of them, they’re trying to understand the nature of what it means to be. The wisest of them, recognize that the only thing that they know for sure, the only thing they know for sure, is I am. And this is where everything starts. Everything starts with, I am. This is the beginning. This is the only place to begin. It’s in this 20th gate. It’s in this potential in what we call analytically the integration channels. It’s here lies the holiest of all processes. That is the ability for consciousness to incarnate into a single separated form. This is an incredible thing. And all of that is expressed in the 20th gate that says, I am. You see, there is no way to embrace the whole until first you recognize that you are separate. There is no place to go unless you recognize first that you are separate. I am. Everything about the mystical process begins with, I am. Begins with the 20th gate. Says here the channel of awakening the design of being in the now, and it is the 20th gate contemplation and the existential manifestation of way. It’s one of my jokes that I keep telling people that the 20/10 provides you with the only key you ever need to recognize and understand the nature of what it is to be awake. To be awake is simply to be able to say, I am myself now. I am myself now. And of course, the nature of that is very complex. We well know that the moment that you come to human design, you recognize right away that to myself, you always thought you were was somebody else and had nothing to do with you. So, it’s not simply a matter of being able to say I am myself. It’s a matter of recognizing what that self is, the nature of that self, and allowing the nature of that self to simply emerge spontaneously in the now. This is being awake. Every single one of you, every single human that has contact with Human Design has the opportunity to be awake. You don’t need to have channel. It isn’t about that. You get everything in your life, and it comes and goes, but you get everything, but the moment you recognize your essential nature and simply allow it to emerge spontaneously, you are awake. This is the nature of being awake. Woody was fat and sat under a tree. What to do, you know? The 10th gate treading. Here, it’s called the lead, the lead has a very complex meaning to the Chinese, it’s not as easily translated as way, which is what most occidental’s do. It has much more to do with the perfection of one’s nature, and the 10th gate is about the nature of being. The tenth gate has enormous importance in our lives. It is a gate that guides the world behavior. The reality is that it is only out of the 10th gate that any spiritual leader can actually emerge. Because the tenth gate itself is the protection of one’s nature. And by the way, the perfection of one’s nature is simply to allow it to come out. You know these things sound much more complex than they are. The love of the way the 10th gate is one of the gates of the vessel of love. The potential that lies in that is the love of self. And that love of self, that love of self, is the way, it is the lead. It is to accept and love one’s nature. So difficult for human beings. I know. I’ve been there. [00:16:57]


97 Grey Introduction


I call it the Grey Course. For one of the few things that was reassuring to me in my process with the voice is that the human design system was logical. So, I didn’t have to believe it. I could go check it out. I make a, I take a great deal of time and effort with my process to dissuade people from believing in me, not something that is particularly healthy. My work is concentrated almost exclusively on teaching people a logic system and nothing else. And I have ah, great difficulty with people who claim authority or demand that other human beings believe in them. That said, one of the things that I often forget in my process, this is 10 years now, is that I forget how bizarre and strange and curious at all was. And that a vast majority of the information that I was given had nothing to do with the human design system, it had to do with what I call Cosmic Fairy Tales. So, I’m going to take you through a kind of combination of things, I’m going to take you through some stories in my mystical process and I will illustrate the mystical way. Over the weekend, I will tell you with some of the stories that the Voice told me about the nature of the universe, and how all of this process functions. And on the last evening, on Monday night, I’ll show you what, according to the voice, the future looks, what the design looks like, what its world looks like. So, you’re welcome to the Grey Course, I have a tradition in this course, this is my blackest course. I get paid in cash and I get paid personally and you can deduct your discounts. This is my black return currency.

This illustration up here, this is a mystical highway, it’s also deeply mundane. Let us not forget that. The vast majority of people that carry so-called mystical activation in their designs never really get to experience the nature of true mysticism. That isn’t to say that mysticism does not touch their lives. It touches all of your touches your lives all the time. You see, I have a great difficulty with belief systems because I know that they lie. This is clear and obvious. And one of the greatest lies of all is that there’s actually a way. This is something that is simply not true. There is no such thing as a way. There is no pattern that anybody can establish for you that is going to take you from point A of ignorance and point B of awareness. It does not work that way. There is no formula. There is no magic potion. There is no mantra. There is no discipline. There is nothing that is going to provide you with any guarantee that any of that will ever happen in your life. The reality is that for most human beings, the mystical things that they experience almost every day of their life is quickly forgotten. This is called being asleep. This is the nature of what it is to be in the world. Lost in the embrace of the Maya and in that embrace of Maya, nothing is truly seen. So, what I’m going to take you through was a kind of story because it’s not necessarily your story, nor is it necessarily something that’s going to touch you. One of the ironies of my work and the irony of my life now is that I deal with scores of spiritual people, people who are mystically inclined, people who want to know. And what I discover most about among these people is a deep, deep sadness, a much deeper sadness than I find in the general population. The general population is deep in the Maia. There is no way out of that. Those human beings that have a glimpse of something that is different. They also have to deal with all of the stories and all of the myths and all the lies. And so they end up being very confused. They go from one source of wisdom to another. They go from one teacher to another. They go from one faith to another. They go through the night. They go through all kinds of processes. And in the end, they remain sad. Because in the end, what they want they cannot have on demand. Doesn’t matter whether they look. The true nature of what it is to be mystical is to recognize there’s nothing to do. Maybe it happens, maybe it doesn’t happen. The one thing I know is you don’t have to be good to get there.


LGC – Tape 1A (Part 1 of 4) – AZW