Surprisingly, a major obstacle to dealing with trauma or chronic pain is being taken seriously by others. Equally shocking is to learn how so many of us are out of touch with our own bodies, our emotions, and feelings. In our culture, with superficial aspirations and glamour, we jump to conclusions quickly, in haste today. We have to know what we want to be, know our favorites and recite them for others as youngsters. Discerning needs from “would be nice to have’s” is a rare step in development it would appear. If it’s within reach, we grab it. In such spirit (or lack thereof) the essentials of life are bypassed, that is, the essential to aligning our motives for the long haul to true needs, survival of species and preservation of our resources, namely the biosphere in and around this Earth, are compromised.
It’s a slow process as an adult to recover from trauma or a sudden onset of mysterious chronic pain. Learning to assess one’s own feelings independently, eventually without validation from an external authority, is treacherous if not impossible in a lifetime. The value of early guides and nurture, luck or fortunate circumstances in early life grow apparent to the one on such a journey.
Competition, with a number of merits that may benefit some, may actually work against one aspiring for recovery and freedom from the organic conditions of the pain they find. Ironically, today there is considerable competition for medical resources and treatments. Even some that may only be afforded by the well connected socially or wealthy. So one’s plight in life over and above the trauma or pain they encounter, may further complicate their recovery or create such obstacles they are led into a never ending spiral of despair, perhaps escape and delusion, even those of impeccable reputation resort to criminal and once irresponsible acts against themselves and others.
Not to attempt a complete outline of the process here, but a successful recovery is highly contingent upon resilience. Courage, in the hero sense, is rarely identified as depicted in novels and movies. It’s a catchy phrase from a banking commercial that “hero’s don’t take the stairs” as Sam Jackson hands Common Joe a parachute. Let me tell you as someone who’s recovering first hand from multiple traumas and who has been holding a number of hands over the past four decades of others with trauma and chronic pain, these people – most of these with whom I’ve associated – do have the courage and resilience to have a good chance for normal lives. But all of these in this category, did “take the stairs”.
Though there are many stages, it’s important to note where you begin. If it was in early childhood or mid-life, from a safe or dangerous environment, alone or with support.
Invariable, that a trauma is even recognized, is one important factor. The onset of chronic pain may be seemingly virtuously accompanied by a known or recognized cause. But that’s not always the case. Pain does present in mysterious ways.
Initially, once acknowledged and known, such pain may create a panic that your life is in jeopardy – it may seem physical or it could be that everything you’ve built or held up in life is about to fall apart. Pain can trigger many fears and associations that may or may not have any physical basis. Nonetheless, real pain puts one in jeopardy – sometimes real and sometimes it is said, “imagined”. Of course pain can also signal real danger, not just a sense that you could die, or that your life is about to change. Pain and it’s circumstances may be denied, “drank away”, or masked with street drugs or pharmaceuticals for some time. In any event, the reaction to pain can shake a person’s identity and create other real risks in a persons circumstance. Relationships change. Finances may seem to be at risk. The insecurity in all these areas of life are potentially impacted by the pain. The words “pain” and “anxiety” become much more easily interchangeable across this brotherhood of suffering.
Words like anxiety and trauma that someone may have glossed over with superficial meaning are suddenly being thrown around, mentioned to the new comer to this type of condition as if they understand these terms.
When this person realized that she didn’t have to act like she was in pain anymore, that she could felt better being active rather than feigning injury for attention, not compromise her care by having a good day in spite of her pain, or loose her place in line for a competitive view of treatment, then she was free to go out and live her life.
She could live her life, deal with the pain without grimacing to the world, showing pain and talking about pain to everyone. She realized she might just feel a little better as she waited for treatment and though she was experiencing pain and not losing any confidence that she would not lose the attention of her doctor to eventually resolve the pain that she was experiencing.
There is a perspective that can be held that a great degree of emotional maturity develops from experiencing chronic pain when processed in a fashion that one is allowed to gain awareness from it. The same could be said for life trauma’s. Such suffering is indeed necessary to educate a person to a degree that they can empathize with their fellow man and thereby trust and connect more completely with others. It has been said that suffering is the core of spiritual development. Suffering can be pursued, imagined and created. It may also be feigned. However, when it is encountered in the absence of such conditions, it stands the best chance to yield spiritual fruit, freedoms, understanding, wisdom, blessings and the realization of deep truths buried in the words “forgiveness” and “grace”. Of course there are exceptions to every rule. Somehow some people do have built-in, pre-existing “knowing” about some of these matters. A book, a story and movie, or a song could open a pathway.
However, for the mass population it looks like there’s a dark void of trust and empathy. Without a deepened awareness, these media lack consequence necessary to elevate and inspire. They offer substitute to life and escape. They distance us from ourselves and each other, in spite of some of their best efforts to portray authenticity, justice and fairness. Mental charades and arrogance, fueled by ego’s and fantasy, moreover the greed, envy, violence and ultimately the domination of others – the very creation of pain they have been misled to fear, leads them, actually leads mankind of this species, into it’s twilight.
We need to speak up about these matters, not in the old forms and platforms for profit and gain. We need to create an environment where people can trust. It feels risky, I’m sure. But in my quest, I’ve rarely noticed the downsides I’ve suffered, they’ve just been necessary as I kept my eye on a goal that I must admit has often been plagued by doubt, fear, loneliness and despair. But I know I am not alone and I can’t complete this quest it seems by being quiet at this stage. More guides are needed to help others learn to trust themselves to reach their full emotional maturity, wisdom and knowledge, ultimately to create the safety and security for generations to come. The projection of the American Dream, “guarantees” of rules, even the US Constitution, must be moved into our belief systems, spirits and bodies to such a point they are no longer spoken of, but rather lived and enjoyed.
RoachCreative 